Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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