What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

A black student graduated High School

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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