How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

rocky is here again.......................

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

How do you make a little girl cry?

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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