Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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the lemon was sweet.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops