How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Manchester City

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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knock knock!? . . No.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops