I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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im not food

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops