One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops