A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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