Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

dry handjob

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

being sober in a bar fight

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

Your Face... It's Beautiful.

hi dave

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...