why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops