How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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