how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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adam hodgson !

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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