Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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womens rights

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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