Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Kys

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Shea's sty....

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops