What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Men

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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