Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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