How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you know the muffin man? No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops