whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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