A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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no

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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