Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Penis

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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4 hours later.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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24

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no really what are ur names?

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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