Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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KILL WHITEY

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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