When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops