Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Banana Hamock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops