The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops