A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Set up Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I am very humble.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops