One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops