What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops