A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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