A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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