Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Stop procrastinating.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops