What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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