Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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they're dead. idiot.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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