What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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