I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

Oh my God! A talking dog!

Refridgerator.

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

YOU

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

The WNBA.

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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