your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Hello

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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