whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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rarw

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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have safe sex

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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