Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Women's rights...

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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