Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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im watching you..

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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