Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Homosexualism is so gay man

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are flowers.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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I woke up today

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops