i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

guy walks into a bar, ouch

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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