How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Your biggest fan.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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What stops a train? A missile

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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