what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Caca.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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