One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

Jews

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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