what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

have you ever had african food? neither have they

What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

Safe sex MR

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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