Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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