At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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God. God.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops