Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops