Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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anti-joke.com

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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