Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops