A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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