That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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learn. advance!

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30cm = 0,3meters

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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