How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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knock knock come in!

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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go F*** yourself

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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